I thought these letters on television tennis commentary was insightful and humorous. I have both learned from commentary and was confused by it as well. I love the helpful hints - particularly when they break down someones serve or forehand or backhand, in hopes that it might help you (us club players) on the court. I also find it helpful when good commentators breakdown the strategies of a player, giving me a better idea on how to improve my game. But I have found some commentary very confusing, especially when the game has come down to a crucial point and a line person calls the ball out, or perhaps a foot fault is called - and the announcer will say something like, " why would they call that during a vital point "? As if there are times that certain calls shouldn't be made. Things (or opinions) like that have never made sense to me.
I'd be curious as to what you all think as well. Okay, well below are the letters I found that I was talking about earlier. Hopefully you find them inspirational as well.
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The Rules of Tennis Commentary: Parts of Speech
After suffering through two weeks of ESPN2’s commentary team, it is my usual practice to vent my frustration in this blog. But my complaining is not accomplishing anything; the time has come for me to be proactive. So, in order to improve my own tennis viewing experience, I am going to start giving advice, free of charge, to tennis commentators on how they can improve their performances. We’ll start by discussing the usage of the different parts of speech:
Adverbs have no place in sports’ broadcasts. Don’t say “he hit that shot masterfully;” instead simply say “that was a great shot.” Or better yet, don’t say anything since the viewers saw the shot and don’t need to be told it how good it was.
Adjectives should be used sparingly and only insofar as they make literal sense. Goat cheese, tomato, and basil sandwiches can be (and usually are) delicious; match-ups are not edible and therefore cannot be delicious. Also, refrain from making up adjectives. No matter how inconsistent it is, a player’s serve cannot be described as “disrhythmic.”
Verbs and nouns can very useful. In fact, you might be able to go through an entire match using only verbs and nouns. You could say, “Player A serves, player B returns, player A volleys.” But since you can assume most of your audience isn’t blind, this type of commentary is redundant. So choose your verbs and nouns carefully.
Pronouns are nifty. Sometimes you’re talking about a particular player and you find yourself trying to find synonyms for his name: Federer, Roger, the stylish Swiss, the genius from Basel, the maestro, etc. Try using a pronoun in place of his name instead. It’s much more efficient.
Articles, prepositions, and conjunctions can add another dimension to your sentences. You could say, “If [conjunction] the [article] line judge calls another foot fault, then [conjunction] the [article] player will stuff a [article] ball in [preposition] her throat.” Now your broadcasts are getting more interesting.
Finally, anyone who uses interjections should have to stand blindfolded at the net while Ivo Karlovic practices his serve. This goes double for people who use the interjection “oh my!”
Adverbs have no place in sports’ broadcasts. Don’t say “he hit that shot masterfully;” instead simply say “that was a great shot.” Or better yet, don’t say anything since the viewers saw the shot and don’t need to be told it how good it was.
Adjectives should be used sparingly and only insofar as they make literal sense. Goat cheese, tomato, and basil sandwiches can be (and usually are) delicious; match-ups are not edible and therefore cannot be delicious. Also, refrain from making up adjectives. No matter how inconsistent it is, a player’s serve cannot be described as “disrhythmic.”
Verbs and nouns can very useful. In fact, you might be able to go through an entire match using only verbs and nouns. You could say, “Player A serves, player B returns, player A volleys.” But since you can assume most of your audience isn’t blind, this type of commentary is redundant. So choose your verbs and nouns carefully.
Pronouns are nifty. Sometimes you’re talking about a particular player and you find yourself trying to find synonyms for his name: Federer, Roger, the stylish Swiss, the genius from Basel, the maestro, etc. Try using a pronoun in place of his name instead. It’s much more efficient.
Articles, prepositions, and conjunctions can add another dimension to your sentences. You could say, “If [conjunction] the [article] line judge calls another foot fault, then [conjunction] the [article] player will stuff a [article] ball in [preposition] her throat.” Now your broadcasts are getting more interesting.
Finally, anyone who uses interjections should have to stand blindfolded at the net while Ivo Karlovic practices his serve. This goes double for people who use the interjection “oh my!”
- Anonymous said...
- Hello Callie. I commend your effort to straighten out the tennis commentary on espn2. Maybe you can direct them to some reference materials like the "Harbrace College Handbook" or “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Public Speaking”. Better yet, bind and gag the espn gang have them watch a tennis match for which commentary is done by John Barratt and Jason Goodall. If the accents are too thick for the espn gang to follow, how about having them watch a match with commentary by Jimmy Arias and Lief Shiras? But all of this would be pearls before swine. I think the real answer is in technology which allows you to either eliminate the commentary without eliminating the sounds of the match or allow you to pick the commentary you want to hear. All of you electrical and software engineers out there – some big bucks to be made. Get busy. p.s. I saw a post where someone referred to their favorite tennis commentator as Mary Gorilla. Hahahaha. Maybe she should team up with Ja(so)ne Goodall. How about Cliff Clydesdale? That would be an insult to horses everywhere. Regards to all, Mike in Etters
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